My "Joy" Is Back!
The following is a chronicle
of the past year....the good news is I am posting this now, because I feel fabulous......really fabulous, for a while anyway, and I am so happy!
This probably sounds silly and dramatic, in lieu of other people's problems, illnesses and terrible
personal losses, but to me this past year has been really difficult, and thus I haven't posted much on my blog, because I was depressed and in pain the entire year! (Chronic pain wears you down) I like to be fun and real on my blog......but I quite frankly
decided I was in a "place" where I "couldn't see the "forest for the trees"! I do apologize if I appeared not as patient or sympathetic to family and friends, but I was really tired and truly, "had lost my joy".
I have had bad arthritis for over
35 years, in 1983 I was told by an excellent Bay Area orthopedic surgeon that I had the ankles of an 85 year old woman......the math is scary! -:) Note....I have continued to happily sell Real Estate this entire time! If you ask why I am still working?
I lost pretty much everything & much more, when my husband Dave (a warm loving guy) first had a massive stroke in 1993 and later died in 1994 in the middle so setting up a company in the Philippines that I was unfortunately the main investor. I only tell
you this because I know people are secretly wondering, why I was still working now, and why I wasn't wealthy after over 40 years in my business. Well, it is a long, story as you can well imagine!
Anyway, a year ago......are you
ready for this one....? I was plunging my toilet and felt a horrible, ripping pain in my right shoulder, and had torn my rotator cuff, Almost 100%. Plunging my toilet.........??? Yep! In the next few weeks, the balance ripped off.... Hello......got my attention!
It was excruciating! Long story short, my Dr. at Muir Ortho told me you absolutely need whole new shoulder! Well, welcome more artificial body parts! Ankles with multiple 4" bolts, knees, hips all replaced. Heck I am bionic. Had a second opinion at Stanford,
and rather than whole new shoulder, I elected to have "clean up surgery", hopefully to last till.......??? Just recovering from that in January, when I was walking out of CVS and my foot caught on the "new handicap" bright yellow handicap walkway
with bumps (beware)....and down I went fracturing my pelvis in three places. Well, that works well with my advanced spinal stenosis.......! Needless to say, ouch....and a long healing process, in bed for four months. In the middle of that, I bit on something
I shouldn't have, and broke my front tooth in half, lovely!! That required long extensive, expensive, dental work. Now that was BAD, I looked awful, funny and at the same time, totally ridiculous, "we woman have our pride”! -:) This really sounds
like "the, original" pity party! -:) Honestly, the good is coming! Every three months I get injections to my spine at the Surgery Center, and shots of cortisone in my ankles! Up to this past week, helped some, but.... they finally REALLY helped! So yesterday,
I woke up and like a miracle.......the worst was over, I could walk, and I felt happy again! It is so great because, I just listed two fabulous properties, and although I worked the entire time, I realized I had regained my "passion" for what I do best......help
people! Both of my new clients are already like "family" with lots of sadness & problems and I adore them...........I love my job!! I am the "Realtor on a Crutch" I had great clients the past year, and I loved them too, and in moments, that "joy" returned....
but it was hard to "keep smiling" all the time, it just hurt so bad to walk. The biggest blessing in my life is Jim! He is a gem.... folks! Forget that he almost died, literally 9 times, his heart is tired! He is 100% pacemaker dependent! Every day,
if he disappears around a corner.... I am so scared something has happened to him! He has severe atrial fib, I have moderate, but have almost died due to blood clots in my lungs after a hospital procedure. Traveling, is fun, but exhausting and very dangerous.
Alas, we are both kind of tired! BUT, he is the best partner ever........and so I think his spirits are lifted too when I "perk" up! We LOVE what we do, and we are "darn good" at it! It was interesting, the other morning I woke up feeling glorious, I went
to the Dr....he commented, “where do you get your energy"? He said without a doubt, he would list a house with me! He said , "age is a number" and I loved him for saying that!
The cycle, starts again in three months.........but the big stuff
(pelvis) is healed and the rest........used to it!! They X-rayed my feet & ankles last week, and they look NOTHING like feet and ankles, really, really, weird! Dr. said worst arthritis he had seen in a long time! Difference, .......attitude & my pain
specialist and Jim's help. Now done with all "the crap" we didn't want to burden our friends and family, so I don't think they had a clue, how hard it has been for us. We try to be "cheery"! Every family is overwhelmed with their own problems,
disease, death, work, or huge life events......it is our responsibility to ourselves and each other, to "keep our own home fires burning". We do that!
The good news for me, and Jim, is it was glorious to wake up and have my joy and
passion back. Remember the old saying, "When life sends you lemons, make lemonade”, it works! Jim, is Jim, "slow and steady", not a "rocket like me"! Everyone tells us, that he makes the most beautiful home brochures of anyone, and he does!
(I think his passion is all of the extraordinary programs he is learning every day on his computer) My clients absolutely love him, he is so kind, generous and loving. He is my partner, my love, and the connection with my clients and other people through my
work is my passion and provides my joy!
Next blog, mmmmm, maybe ......observations on first and foremost...what is your joy? What is your passion? (You cannot depend on others; it comes from within). If you lose it.... how do you get it
back? The sadness, joy, upside and downside of living in a retirement community AND my new summer/fall / winter hobby.... politics! (I am independent, but study ALL viewpoints) I cannot believe how intolerant and nasty (on all sides)
that politics has become!
Thanks for listening.......heck it's my "Blog" , I guess I can be boring and whine if I want. -:)-:)